Wedding sneaky peek - Mine & my Dad's song...

We've been struggling to find a song for me & my Dad to dance to. Initially, he wanted to dance to the song I was named after, which is Clair, by Gilbert O'Sullivan, but the words aren't that great.

I went through my entire playlist on my iPhone, and looked at CD's and finally settled on a choice of two. It was between Mark Cohn's 'A Song for my Daughter' and Heartlands 'I Loved her First'.

When I listened to both with me Dad, we both cried listening to 'I loved her First'...So it's definitely the one! Here's the lyrics:

Look at the two of you dancing that way

Lost in the moment and each others face

So much in love your alone in this place

Like there's nobody else in the world

I was enough for her not long ago

I was her number one

She told me so

And she still means the world to me

Just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl

Time changes everything

Life must go on

And I'm not gonna stand in your way

But I loved her first and I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it still hard to give her awayI

loved her first

How could that beautiful women with you

Be the same freckle face kid that I knew

The one that I read all those fairy tales to

And tucked into bed all those nights

And I knew the first time I saw you with her

It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first and I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But its still hard to give her away

I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

Someday you might know what I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

And here's a link to a youtube video so you can hear the song in full!

A beyond horrible photograph, but here's my wedding dress!

My parents have gone to Egypt for a week, so I had to take my Nan to my parents house to look after their dogs.

It worked out really well, because the following day I had to pick up my wedding dress anyway!

So I picked up my Nan on Friday night after work, and realized I'd forgotten my camera about 20 mins up the motorway. I turned round, ran in my house and picked it up - I couldn't NOT have photographs of my dress!

I got to my parents house, and put the camera battery on charge. Phew! It hasn't been charged since January, so the battery was running low and I didn't want to risk not having photographs on Saturday!

On Saturday morning, my sister shouted at me loads! As you know (see previous post if you don't) I've been having a crappy time, and I'm having to sleep a LOT. By the time I'd got to my parents house on Friday night, it was 2am, and although I went to bed straight away, I needed to be up at 8am to get ready. I wasn't up until 8:30 and my sister was going crazy! Well, the tears came, and about 3 cigarettes later we were ready to go. I grabbed the camera and off to pick up the dress we went!

I'm having my dress alterations done at a different shop to where I bought my dress, so I had to try it on at that shop and then drive it to the other place, which is about 25 miles away from the first! The dress was a VERY tight fit, and I had to take off my bra to give extra room!

We got to the second shop and after walking across the town with my dress draped over my arm, my handbag in my other hand and my camera on my back, I was pretty hot and flustered, and sticky! I came to trying on the dress in the second shop and it wouldn't fasten all the way to the top. Apparently your body swells when you're hot...

I asked my sister to take a couple of photographs...We got out the camera to find that it wasn't working. Like a tool I'd forgotten to put the battery back in that morning! Eek! So my sister had to use the USELESS camera on her blackberry to take a photograph.

I'm off to try the dress in another 2 weeks with the girls and my neice. It will be the first time we've all had our dresses on together...And I'll be making sure that I take the camera and battery next time!

Finally ready to say it...

I found out last week that I had another miscarriage.

When I had that first appointment with my new doctor, because of the symptoms I'd described to him, he 'suspected' I'd had a miscarriage based on my history. He wanted blood tests immediately. I put off the blood tests for almost a week (6 days) hoping that they wouldn't be able to tell me either way as I wasn't sure I would be able to cope with it emotionally.

Anyway, they did an overnight test on one of the 5 vials and I got the results last Thursday.

Surprisingly, I'm okay emotionally, but physically I'm a mess. I'm having to get about 13 hours of sleep a day and it's taking everything I have to get up and get to work. I've got another appointment with the doctor tomorrow to discuss the results of the other blood tests and to sort out some kind of plan for the PCOS.

I have this awful feeling that because of where I am at the moment physically, he'll send me to the hospital. I know he's going to want more blood and I'm convinced he'll also order another ultrasound, even though I have one scheduled on the 1st of July.

I had a crappy day on Friday having to tell work the reasons I have a million and one appointments, and sorting out the time off work for them etc. So I went to see the kids on Sunday to cheer me up.

Since Sunday was also Fathers Day, we visited both sets of parents, too.

Oh, and in other news...This is exciting...My wedding dress has finally arrived! I'll be picking it up on Saturday morning at 10:30am sharp! I need to try it on in the shop, and then I'm taking it away to another shop to have the alterations done ready for the big day! I'm hoping that the girls' bags can be made out of the excess material on my dress!

Look out for wedding dress photos on Saturday night or Sunday at some point!

There's a pic of me!

Des took a photograph of me & my nephew, Thomas, today.

I look terrible...and according to my Mum, "awfully pale"! Yeah, that will be the week from hell I've just had! LOL!

Anyway, it's the first pic of me with any of the kids, since I'm always the one behind the camera! Just a shame Des made me blurry!

Here's some more pics of Tom, too:

My beautiful neice is now 7 weeks old!

We went to visit today, and although we only intended to stay for around an hour, we were there 3 - Oops!

Lele (prounounced lay-lay - Her nickname) was having a bath when we arrived. She wasn't enjoying it and she was letting everyone know! Daddy nearly got pee'd on, which was pretty funny, but bathtime was over within a few minutes of our arrival!

Next came cuddles to calm her down, and then she had her dinner - courtesy

of her Mummy! Heh! I know Des was pretty embarrassed when his sister flopped out a boob, but it's natural...and he soon could look at his sister when we were all chatting! Heh!

After Lele had her dinner, she sat on her Mummy's knee and was coo-ing! She's such a sweetie, but is determined not to let her parents get more than an hour or two of sleep each night! I think she's going to be a diva when she's older!

My darling little neice has 2 hernias, and has to have at least one of them operated on in the near future. She has an umbilical hernia (which is huge) and one lower down on her stomach. It's the one lower down that needs correctling, so they're just waiting for the hospital to give them a date.

After around 2 hours, I demanded photo time! Okay, I didn't demand it, but I asked very nicely if we could now do some photographs!

We put Lele in her moses basket so I could try and get some photographs similar to last time to compare her growth. She now weighs approximately 7lbs, and is getting very long! She's definitely grown since we last saw her!

Whilst I was taking photographs, Lele pulled so many faces! Her expressions are priceless! Every few seconds there was a new expression! Of course, I couldn't capture them all for laughing, and the ones I did get came out blurry (oops again)! But I think I managed to get a few really good ones!
I plan on visiting at least once a month, so that I can do a scrapbook of her first year, month by month. They literally live about 5 minutes from where I work, so it shouldn't be too difficult to visit lots and lots!

Anyway, onto the photographs:

The compulsary crying photo!

Summer = BBQ time!

And today we went to our first BBQ of the year!


It was awesome! We had chicken kebabs, chinese style burgers, ribs, and tons of other stuff! It's like 6 hours later and I'm still full!

Now I want another BBQ! lol!

New Years Goal #3...

I was thinking that this goal would be completely unachieveable this year...Guess what? It may not be!

My cycles have been completely screwed up the past few months, and things have gotten much worse since I began losing weight. So today, I took myself off to the doctors for my bazillionth appointment.

I fully expected to see my usual GP, and I went in there with the mindset "I need to go on the pill to sort myself out!". My GP wasn't there and I got to see a new guy today. Holy crap was I surprised?!

I started off by telling him I've had horrific cycles the past few months, and this most recent one has had me so ill, I've had to take over a week off work. He looked at all of my notes and agreed with the PCOS diagnosis, but wasn't sure why I hadn't had a scan of my ovaries yet...Because the other doctor didn't request it maybe?!

He started talking testing and treatment and I was so happy that I got a lump in my throat and I was ready to scream, jump up and down and cry with joy!

The Dr wanted a blood sample today since I'm on CD9, but the nurse was unavailable, and I didn't want to drive to the hospital because my sense of direction is terrible. My appointment for the blood test is on Wednesday, and they're testing for a few things that I can't remember (other than a peak of something) and progesterone levels.

The next step is to have a scan of my ovaries and be monitored via blood tests for a couple of cycles before starting treatment. He mentioned a few options, but the only one that stuck out in my mind was metformin, since all the googling I've done over the years has thrown that medication into the text!

He prescribed some tranexamic acid to slow down the heavy periods to take for upto 4 days during my period.

Seriously, I'm absolutely thrilled that finally I'm getting somewhere, and the Dr doesn't think my age is a problem at all! I think this is the first doctors appointment I've ever had where I've come out happy!

Wedding sneaky peek - Nikki's Dress!

I forced my sister to try on her dress again today. The bugger has lost more weight, so the dress is a bit big...I'm just so glad we can get it altered!

Nikki still hates the dress and thinks it makes her look fat! She'll be stood next to me, so she'll look very skinny! Heh! She's talking about dieting more before the wedding, but I think she looks a healthy weight. Also, when she diets, her boobs shrink and SOMETHING will need to hold that dress up all night!

Wedding sneaky peek - Sarah's Shoes!

I took Sarah to get her shoes last week too. We decided to have ivory shoes for her, my sister and my neice and they're going to be dyed another colour after the wedding so they can be worn again.


Sarah decided to go for a huge heel...I just really hope they're comfy for her to be wearing for the ceremony! Heh!

Wedding sneaky peek - My shoes!

So it's back to the sneaky peeking at some of my wedding stuff.

My shoes...I've had them a whole week now, and I'm dreading wearing them! I just know they'll be filthy by the end of the day, and I think they may hurt! Oh well...They are really pretty and not too high, so hopefully I won't fall down the aisle!

Thanks Mum!

For making all of our wedding invitations!

They turned out beautifully, and we're very grateful! I can't wait to hand some out tomorrow and post the rest in the morning!

Getting creative for the big day!

I'm on a cost saving mission, since we hugely overspent on the wedding.

Firstly, let me say that men are useless...and this was the cause of an argument on Tuesday! We've been planning our wedding for around 6 months now, and Des has kept telling me he will just turn up - he doesn't seem to have wanted to get involved in any of the planing.

Since I'm pretty organized, I've been constantly telling him what I've bought/ordered and how much things are, I've also been trying to drag him off to see the photographer, the baker, the suit hire place, the jewellers etc. His response to everything has been "Honey, if you want it, get it!" or "Yeah, that sounds good!".

Anyway, on Tuesday I dragged him to visit the lady that's making our cake so we could both have input on the what we did and didn't want, and all of that fun stuff. That's now all chosen, and sorted, and £300 later, all is fine.

In the evening we had an appointment with the photographer since Des is yet to meet him. We only have another 2 months to decide on which of the guys 'packages' we want to opt for. We were there approximately an hour, going through what each package is and how much it costs and how the photographer likes to work and of course, the timings of everything. Our photographer, Howarth, said "well, there's only 3 months now huh?! I bet you're both excited?!"...

On our way home Des started moaning at the cost of EVERYTHING! Seriously - I've never heard anything like it! We had a discussion, which turned into an argument in the car because after adding everything up, we've overspent by a whopping £2,000! He tried to blame me for not keeping on top of things, and I said it was also his fault for telling me it was fine to go ahead ond order stuff! By the time we got home everything was fine and we'd make up, but I've had to borrow some money from my parents, which they're happy with, but I feel really, really guilty.

So, I'm now on a cost saving mission so that we stay within our new budget. Even going over budget by £100 - £200 will not be an option!

I wanted to buy t-shirts for my hen party with personalized 'writing' on them. The writing being in diamantes. I also wanted everyone to have t-shirts for the morning of the wedding with their role on it, since they'd be nice to keep! Little did I know that each t-shirt is £20 (minimum), and the cheaper alternative to that is buying iron-on names...which didn't work out much cheaper when you factor in the cost of the t-shirts!

So off I went to eBay. I bought 6,000 diamante rhinestones, some transfer paper and it only cost me £21 including postage! Today I began making the transfers to iron onto t-shirts. I need the following:

- 20x "Claire's Hen Party"

- 1x Bride to Be

- 1x Maid of honor

- 1x Mother of the Bride

- 1x Mother of the Groom

- 1x Bridesmaid
- 3x Sexy sister in law

And those are just for the hen party! The wedding day ones total about 10 transfers I need to make.

I got started on the transfers today, and managed to make 2 "Claire's Hen Party" transfers, ready to be ironed onto t-shirts, and also I made "Bride to Be". Each transfer took me in excess of 4 hours, and each transfer used up 750-800 diamantes (apart from the 'bride to be' one). The word 'party' uses up 144 diamantes alone!

I've ordered about 10,000 more diamantes, which should arrive early next week, and in the meantime I'll use up the ones I've already bought this weekend!

I took some photographs of what I've made so far. The little white squares are bits of plain paper so I can hold the tape when I'm putting on the diamantes 1 at a time, using a pair of tweezers! Each diamante is 1.8mm, so they're really tiny! You also have to put the diamantes on face down, and the words are written backwards so they can be ironed on the correct way!

A couple of photographs and a wedding update!

We went to visit the kids again today since it was the first time since the funeral we both had a day off together. With a wedding to pay for, Des is doing overtime at every possible opportunity.

Des spoke to Adam (his twin brother) yesterday, and he confirmed he was definitely coming over from South Africa for the wedding! Wooo! He's coming over on 31st August 2009 and will be returning to South Africa on 19th September 2009, so he'll be here for 3 weeks!

Adam can't really afford the ticket, so we're going to pay for the majority of it. Also, he needs spending money, which I'll give him...We'll also need to pay for 3 days at the hotel for him. The final thing we'll need to do is buy his suit (which we were doing anyway) and shoes for the big day. Well, we can't have a wedding without a best man!

Adam is going to fly to Heathrow, and he wants to get the train to his parents' house from there, but I want to meet him at the airport so he has some friendly faces when he arrives home! Des kept telling him we were going to pick him up and Adam was saying that it's too far for me to drive! Well, it is a bit of a long one...Probably 5 hours each way and it will be a drive straight there and back for a total of 10 hours driving in probably an 11-12 hour period. We'll see though, after 2 years of not seeing him and being really close before he emigrated, we just can't wait to see him!

Geina - if you're reading this, he thinks the flight arrives at Heathrow at 6:25am, so our drive will be through the night. Hopefully we'll be taking him back though, so if that's the case then we'll probably come and visit on that trip!

Des and I have spent the last week looking for inspiration for our wedding cake this week. There's a few ideas we have, ready to see the cake maker a week tomorrow. Simple, yet sophisticated, and inexpensive! *Sigh* I guess I'll have to start doing some overtime to pay for it!

Another thing Des & I will be doing a week tomorrow is seeing the photographer to go through some of the photographs we definitely want. There's a few detail shots I want which can be posed after the ceremony, and then the group photographs. Oh, and the first dance! The hotel are using my wedding reception for their marketing (ugh), so they want some photographs too, which also means I need to get undressed halfway through the day so my dress can by hung up in the hotels bridal suite, along with Des' suit...And the getting ready pics are being done in the hotel, like the make up/hair etc...so I have to pose those later in the day too! Eek!

I'm thinking that we'll have the car and ceremony pics at the church and then the group shots at the hotel since the hotel overlooks some beautiful scenery. We'll see though!

Last week I stumbled across a WONDERFUL bridal store. I was actually at the hairdressers getting my long hair cut short and a woman was having her hair done and talking about her daughters bridal boutique. I asked where it was and took a trip there after my haircut. My sister actually went to school with this girls (owners) brother.

The girl, Sarah, makes all of the tiaras and hand sews all of the beading onto the wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses/clothing/shoes and her mum makes all of the dresses and clothing. My mum is having an outfit made, and I'm having a bolero jacket made. I'm taking one of my bridesmaids to get a bolero jacket made too, and we'll probably buy our shoes and jewellery from there!

So the kids update:

Emily was playing football with her 'boyfriend' all day, so we didn't really get to see her. We spent about 3 hours with the boys though.

The twins have a dairy allergy and a wheat allergy. It was nice to see Euan's skin so clear since Zoe has cut everything dairy or wheat related out of his diet. She tried to introduce a little wheat into Ethan's diet on the advice of the doctor...His poor little face was swollen and blotchy. Hopefully they'll grow out of the allergy when they're a bit older.

Uncle Des taught Thomas how to use a phone yesterday! He had another hearing test about 4 weeks ago and the test came back with just moderate hearing loss. His speech is coming on so much now, and although he's not clear with his words, he is 'speaking' more and attempting to copy words. He tends to copy actions more though! Tom is like my little mini-me! He LOVES 80's music, which means he loves my iPhone...We danced together in the sun for about an hour! Yes - I was knackered!

I only got pics of Euan and Tom yesterday...Here they are:

Welcome to the world!

My newest neice, Leylania Deone, was born on Friday 24th April 2009 at 4:53pm, weighing 4lbs 10oz!

Today we went to visit for the first time!

She is adorable and I can't believe how much I love her already! Another little girl for me to spoil! Woo Hoo!

Want to see the pics?

Some photographs:

We had a bit of a crappy day on Friday. Des' Aunt died and we attended her funeral. It was such a sad day and there were lots of tears. She had battled cancer for a number of years, and although I never met her, I heard lots of things from both Des, and his Mum over the years.

To cheer us up, we visited the kids on our way home. The twins have been poorly all week, and Emily had been sick overnight, but when we arrived, everyone seemed to be fine. Emily was playing on the trampoline!

I bought a new lens for my camera last week, so I was really looking forward to trying it out...And of course, my little model Thomas, was happy to smile and have his photograph taken a million times! Heh!

We probably spent 2 hours with the kids, and when it was time to go, we gave everyone kisses and cuddles...and Thomas cried his little heart out! So Des said "Are you coming with us?!" And he grabbed Des' hand and started walking to the car with us! This is the first time he's wanted to come with us...Normally he's a mummys boy and clings to his mum when we leave! lol!

As we were leaving (Thomas holding Des' hand), Des tripped over Emilys bike & Tom fell...But he wanted cuddles from Des & me & not his parents! He started smiling and then carried on walking to the car with us! When we handed him back to his Mum, he cried and cried with his arms open to us!!

When Emily was little, we lived 2+ hours away (like we do now) and didn't have a car, so we missed all of that with her. Since Tom has been born, we've made a huge effort to visit at least every 2-3 weeks and we've seen him in his first few days of walking, when he started saying a couple of words etc. I'm so happy that we'll get to be a regular visitor throughout the twins' baby years too!

So...Are you ready to see the photographs? I'm in love with my new lens!

Thomas:

The Twins:

Ethan & Euan together

Ethan:

Euan: